Dirk Kuyt disagrees with every single player at Liverpool, past and present.

In one bizarre statement guaranteed to disenfranchise himself from his teammates, Liverpool fans, Sky pundits and thousands of people all across Asia, Dirk Kuyt has stunned the football world.
I can exclusively reveal the reason Mascherano has asked for a transfer and why Phil Thompson has appeared even more humourless this season, a feat previously thought impossible.
Kuyt has been forced to apologise and only give press conferences to reserve journalists after stating in a recent interview, "For me, it's all about the future."
This astonishing interview that failed to make any mention of "Liverpool's marvellous history" is available on Sky already and has attracted several hundred unintelligible comments. In the article, also reproduced on a protest page on Facebook, Kuyt also mentions "challenging" for trophies and the top 4, rather than "guaranteeing" success, and although he mentions "really working hard", sources have already hinted the Dutchman may be forced to wear a black permed wig, silly moustache, polyester shellsuit and black armband to blend in on the streets of his adopted Grieverpool.
Paul Merson and Charlie Nicholas were approached for comment, but were unable to string two words together in anything resembling the right order.