England installed as favourites for Euro 2012.

After weeks of booing, calling for "Crapello's" head, John Terry to be birched, Frank Lampard to be set on fire and Gareth Barry to be sent on a speed awareness course, England started their Euro qualifying campaign with a 3rd minute goal by Jermain Defoe.
Due to the entire population of England blobbing on a sofa in front of ITV, millions of shaven headed fat blokes with "Rooney" on the back of last year's shirt were able to access their internet bookies before Clive Tyldesley had finished knocking one out over the replay. Ladbrokes CEO Richard Glynn announced plans to retire on his own island next month, Bet365 immediately recorded Ray Winston pointing at a 1/20 sign and shouting "Who's the Daddy?", and Fred Done paid out after 20 minutes on England lifting the trophy in two years time. Skybet exploded when Paul Merson logged on and has not been seen since, although sadly the addled ex-player survived with his IQ unaffected.
Gareth Southgate was escorted from Wembley and transported to a weather station in the Arctic for his own safety after suggesting we "shouldn't get carried away just yet".
However, by the end of the first half England had failed to score again, with a Mexican wave at 35 minutes being the high point. The nearest either team got to netting was when Glen Johnson neatly sidefooted goalwards only for Joe Hart to deny him at the near post.
Bazza from Watford was disgusted, "I've asked them for my £100 back. There's no way we'll do anything with 42 minutes like that". Dazza from Solihull was enraged at their attitude, "I gave my money to William Hill's in good faith, and they won't let me have my £100 back. Mr Hill would be disgusted." Gazza from Liverpool said, "I did an offie last week, nicked me gran's pension an' sold me mates car so I could put five grand on them bastards an' this is how they repay me. Except Stevie G and Glen, who both get 10/10."
Fabio Capello was quoted as saying, "Er, um I, erm, is sorry not is good quite a mars a day biscuit barrel thankyou," before bimbling away to inspire his team for the second half. Stuart Pearce was unavailable to comment as he had just eaten a small fluffy horse.